"They say that the suffering you endure when you are younger is a way for you to pay your dues early and make room for better things in the future. Keep at it until you are calloused and bruised. Although you may be hurt and bleeding now, a better day will come. Hard work will never betray you."
Kang Gary of Leessang, Dec 2011

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Randomly random

You can only imagine what internet could do to your life. 
I still could not imagine I meet one of a close friend from the internet. It all started when I enquired on her room advert then tiba-tiba jadi kawan baik. How random is that. Padahal aku tak jadi sewa bilik dia pun. 
We become so close that she willingly offered me to stay with her for free when I was jobless and practically homeless after coming back from Australia. She simply told me I could pay her later. She even shared her personal stories and turned to me for help. She trusts me that much aku pun tak paham kenapa huhu. 
I dont think I would do that if I were her (except for her) simply because I don't trust people. I just dont. I'm selfish like that.
Yet I still managed to befriend with her, a total stranger I knew from the internet. Wow I must love to live my life dangerously. Heh.


It has been three months (SERIOUSLY baru tiga bulan?? Rasa macam dah lama gila plis -__-") since I moved here, but I never really finished unpacking.
Most of my barang still berlonggok dalam this unused room, untouched. Aku memang main campak-campak je barang dalam bilik tu. Most of my baju either still dalam plastic crates, dalam bakul or dalam pastic bag, just as I brought them in. Baju yang biasa pakai je lah yang bersangkut outside storage. 
Actually I had the thoughts of buying a proper almari or chest drawer for my clothes but then everytime it will make me think of how troublesome it will be when I move out from this town later. And that is not until end of this year. Haaa nampak sangat aku memang tak boleh nak settle down kat sini. Or maybe it is because I know this is all just temporary. Either way, I know I cannot stand this ghost town. 
Again, that could only just me being mengada-ngada.


I think I should talk to a counselor. But the problem is, I don't trust people. So macam mana lah I will ever be able to just go talk to a counselor and tell my story?


Sigh.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Semangat

Seminggu before raya cina aritu aku finally demam, setelah berminggu battling dengan hidung sendiri yang tak habis-habis selsema. Merasa lah demam few days, siap sakit tekak and selsema, sekali pakej dengan hilang selera makan selama 2 minggu. Bak kata sorang pakcik ni, makin tiang letrik lah jadinya badan aku ni. Puii.

Aku pegi klinik, dapat MC sehari. Hari yang lain-lain tu aku ponteng sukati aku je. Malas kot nak pegi klinik balik just to get another MC. Doktor ni pun satu, dah tau aku demam teruk bagi je lah MC 3-4 hari siap-siap. 2 hari untuk demam surut and sehari untuk rest and recover. Nasib baik site agent aku ok, boleh bawak kautim. Bertambah seronok la aku ponteng hewhew. 

Harini baru fully resume kerja. Tu pun pagi tadi tiba-tiba muntah-muntah. Ingatkan cuti lama ni boleh la datang semangat balik, tapi nampaknya makin menghilang pulak.Tah hapa-hapa lah aku ni. 



"Aku bercakap dengan rakan-rakan sekapal, aku dapat sedikit semangat baru. Aku baca banyak sumber, aku dapat semangat lagi. Aku dekatkan diri dengan Pencipta, dapat lagi semangat baru. Tapi semangat aku mudah hilang bila aku keseorangan. Mencari dan mencari dan sekali lagi aku terfikir, susahnya nak istiqamah ni." - Ladynoe, 3.2.14


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