"They say that the suffering you endure when you are younger is a way for you to pay your dues early and make room for better things in the future. Keep at it until you are calloused and bruised. Although you may be hurt and bleeding now, a better day will come. Hard work will never betray you."
Kang Gary of Leessang, Dec 2011

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Gila


I'm scared of myself. It seems that I can't control myself any longer.


I started loosing control over my temper lately. I don't know why, I just easily got upset, even over small things. Everytime I got upset, the rage was so horrifying I felt like exploding. And it took me more time to calm down than the usual. Sometimes, even the thought of it could make me feel like screaming my head of.


I really am scared of myself. God knows what could happen if I was loosing it. I know that I'd be throwing things uncontrollably. I won't be saying anything, I won't be making any sound. I would just start reaching for things to throw. Anything that's within reach. I really mean ANYTHING. So imagine what could happen to a person if I were to mengamuk to him/her....


Owh, did I mentioned that I would also lost my self-conscious??


Talking about being mad..



4 comments:

HaNiM PoSh said...

aku mcm tu gak..2,3 mggu b4 bday aku mmg aku mcm ko..
tp genap jer bday aku kamis tu..terus jd cool,hpy mcm biase..

hurmm nk naik umor kot..tu yg hormon pun x balance..(mcm baby2 lak...haha)

Belladonna said...

Masa muda aku pun used to have temper macam tu jugak. Biasalah tu. Took years to mellow down plus berhusband yang ada hypertension helps a lot. Maksud aku sebab aku tak nak partner aku stress, aku carik cara lain untuk mengamuk. Salah satu daripadanya ialah through writing. Or tidur.

Maybe subconsciously you are stressing over something?

isabelle said...

aaaa...
i am having the same problem lately.
why ehh?

smlm baru kena tegur dgn mrhubby, to mellow down & take it easy.

whew...how i wished it's as ez as that.

AdiHana said...

hanim,
masalahnya bday aku dh bbulan berlalu sayang~

bella,
yeah, writing did help. cuma tidur tu je kot.. how i wish i had the time utk tidur sesuka hati like u kak huhu~

btw, i'm more than conscious that i am stressing over sthg hehe.. but i dont think thats the trigger

is,
god knows.
sbb cuaca kot? kita kan environmentalist, so harussslah sensetep sket ngn perubahan cuaca kannnn.. :P

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