"They say that the suffering you endure when you are younger is a way for you to pay your dues early and make room for better things in the future. Keep at it until you are calloused and bruised. Although you may be hurt and bleeding now, a better day will come. Hard work will never betray you."
Kang Gary of Leessang, Dec 2011

Friday, October 16, 2009

untuk perempuan itu


I know I was being harsh to you. I cant help it. U asked for it anyway. But I want u to understand that I meant no harm (walaupun kata2 aku memang menyakitkan hati dan telinga kau ahaks!).

I just dont understand why u have to be mean, particularly to me. At first I thought it was me, maybe I annoyed u so much nobody could ever imagine. But even when we were not talking and I kept some distance, somehow I guess I managed to annoy u that much, that u just cant let me be. Ada je benda kau nak cakap pasal aku. Apesal ek? U feel so insecure even at the sight of me izzit?

Babe, u should really turn your reality lights on.

News flash: I'm not perfect. Yes, everyone has flaw honey.
Go and ask if there's anybody who doesnt have any complaint against their own self. Why do you think those beauty treatments exist? Complete profile dari yang canggih manggih sampai la yang ke ridiculous type, dari yang murah sampai la yang ke insanely expensive. Nobody was born perfect. Show me one person who was born flawless and I'll be your slave forever. Dont u know there are people who would go to the end of this world just to make themselves look good and feel good?

To tell u the truth, there are things about me that I dont feel happy about. Kau ingat seronok ke jadi kurus? Kurus macam aku ni pun dah xbest for so many reason. One of the most obvious reason is people talked about it. My kurusness tend to become their fav topic to be discussed. Padahal kau pun tau aku ni xdela kurus mana. There are people out there yg more outrageously kurus kering dari aku. Yet, orang sekeliling aku still have so much to complain. Kau ingat aku xsakit jiwa ke? Tu baru satu. Ada banyak lagi yang aku tak sanggup nak cerita kat sini. Lagipun aku xdela gile sangat nak membuka pekung di dada ku inniew..

To make u feel better, I also hate my boney arms - people make fun of it. And my skinny leg - I hate the most when people touching it. I think my butt is way too big for my body - it makes me feel as if my body is in imbalance proportion. And my skin is way far than perfect - ia adalah sgt sensitif and prone to I-have-no-idea-how-to-pronounce-it allergy attack. Cuma my facial skin je la kot yg behaving normally.. There. I hope I make your day.

I have so many other flaws that I secretly wish I never had. And there are things about me that I'm more than willing to change for the world. But since I cant do nothing about it (yet), I guess I just have to live with it. That taught me to make the best out of the worst. U should give it a try darling, then maybe u can be happier and start enjoying your life to the fullest instead of bersusah hati sepanjang hayat memikirkan kegembiraan orang lain like nobody's business.

Tu je lah tazkirah untuk harini. Need to get back to work. Have to, walaupun sekarang ni I could only think of my comfy blankie and I cant stop wondering what on earth is going on in my body system as it seems that I can get rid of the nausea and headache. Balasan tuhan la ni kot, mulut jahat sgt..

Owh for the record, that's my other flaw. U happy now?


8 comments:

HaNiM PoSh said...

tak habes lg ke kes ko ngn dia ni adi hana??dia bace ke post ni??gigih ko nulis nyer.. ;)

isabelle said...

dah..dah...
she's just a langau.
xyah layan.
the more u write about her, the more she feels important

AdiHana said...

hanim,
mestilah. kalau x, xde maknanya aku nk tulis pjg2. tapi cam biasalah, dia xkan mengaku. tau2 nnt dia bcerita kat org pasal entry aku. gile psycho!

AdiHana said...

isabelle,
she is important. kalau dia xde, susah i nak sharpen skill memaki ku ittew ekeke~

Emi Dino said...

adik...sapa yg kurg ajaw sgt tu...nape kita x pnh gosip pasal dia nih...? sesuka hati membengangkan adik aku....

AdiHana said...

kakak,
aku bkn rapat pun ngn minah ni. dia je yg thegeh2 nk my attention kot, hence all the kata2 kejinya itu. so she's not that important to be part of our conversation.. :)

HaNiM PoSh said...

abai kan jer dia...wat semak ko jer..delete segala2 kaitan ngn dia..fb,fs,ym..segala2 (kejam kan cadangan aku??coz aku mmg buat..muahaha)

AdiHana said...

hanim,
aku xdela sekejam itu. lagipun tak luak pun kalau setakat dia nk kutuk aku. cuma mgu lepas tu nsb dia xbaik, kutuk aku time aku tgh bad mud. maka rasain kau!!!

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