"They say that the suffering you endure when you are younger is a way for you to pay your dues early and make room for better things in the future. Keep at it until you are calloused and bruised. Although you may be hurt and bleeding now, a better day will come. Hard work will never betray you."
Kang Gary of Leessang, Dec 2011

Monday, March 9, 2009

Kekacauan jiwaku


It's been a while since I write anything. I've been busy lately. Aku rasa aku xdelah banyak benda nak kena buat tapi rasanya macam sgt2 busy. Aku pun xtau apa yang aku sibukkan sgt. Tapi aku memang sibuk lah sekarang nih..

Aku dah keje sebenarnya. It's only been a month but it felt like forever. I don't wanna talk much about my work. At least not now.

Anyway, life aku skg nih rasanya sama je cam sebelum ni, cam time2 study dulu. Aku still kena bangun pagi, buat keje sampai malam. Kadang2 kena stay up, kena kejar datelines (dan langgar datelines jugak hehe..). But I guess yang membezakan hidup aku skang ngan dulu hanya satu - I'm not having fun anymore. Not even with myself.

Aku ni pulak bukannya the type of person yang pandai nak cover2 isi hati. Ok, maybe I can act and pretend a bit, but then it will show eventually. Skang ni ngan kepala yang berserabut, I tend to become very moody, my habit changed and I don't feel like myself anymore most of the time.

I do realise though that I have responsibilities and have to think about other things and people as well, so I have to keep myself together and pretend as much as I can. So kenalah sengih sana, sengih sini, gelak sana, gelak sini.. I did have fun and enjoyed myself a bit sometimes, but a big part of me rasa cam nak meletop. I sooooo hate having to do this, to pretend like this. Sumpah exhausting!! x(

4 comments:

Ola said...

pnah kna kejar dateline??
huhuhu

AdiHana said...

owh pernah..
dikejar dan mngejar.
ngehehe..

isabelle said...

adi,
u have to be emotionally stable la.
kalo x, camna nak dpt boifren keje gomen yg berperut dan x hensem? :P

AdiHana said...

opssss dah lupa lak agenda utama tu ngehehe...
okeh, saya akan ketepikan semua gangguan emosi ittew!! ;P

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