"They say that the suffering you endure when you are younger is a way for you to pay your dues early and make room for better things in the future. Keep at it until you are calloused and bruised. Although you may be hurt and bleeding now, a better day will come. Hard work will never betray you."
Kang Gary of Leessang, Dec 2011

Friday, March 20, 2009

I'm soo in love..


Kenapa laaa aku ni selalu will eventually end up "berchenta" ngan this thing called kerja??


I don't even love my job, tapi aku berchenta gak ngan kerja ittew.

Selalu camni.

Hampeh tol!!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Dearest Awan Guling


I was being abusive to Awan Guling lately. Poor Awan.. Minggu ni je dah dua kali aku lupa nak switch off lampu kete. Sia2 je bateri week. Nasib baik both incidents happened kat parking space yang proper dan tempat yang betul, so xdela menderita sgt aku nak membela si Awan tu.

Pastu bleh plak aku gi hentam tiang lampu time nak reverse kereta. Sumpah aku tak perasan tiang lampu tu. Waktu tu dah la dah gelap, hujan renyai2, parking area tu pun lapang semacam jek, aku pun reverse la ngan konfidentnya. Tak pasal2 langgar tiang lampu. And again, lucky me bumper belakang si Awan xde rosak or kemek or jatuh. Adelah pecah sikit, tapi xberapa visible dan x affect kereta. Kalau tak akak la yang pengsan nak baiki kereta. Memang bertuah sgt2.

Actually yang bertuah si Awan tu sebenarnya. And I'm just lucky enuff to have him. Awan tak pernah buat perangai yang menyusahkan tuannya. Kalau nak buat hal pun, Awan akan rosak kat tempat yang elok, cam kat parking box yang terang dan ramai orang ke.. dia tak pernah rosak tengah2 jalan. And no matter how violent my other family members towards him (especially bapak and brothers2 ku yang hampeh ittew), Awan tetap rilek dan cool jek. Aritu masa dia tenggelam dalam banjir besar kat Johor tu pun, he was not having that much of damage. Dahlah he was fully submerged in the water, he was actually got drifted away by the strong current. But somehow he got stuck to this one pole maka terselamatlah Awan Guling tu dari dihanyutkan arus masuk ke longkang.. It almost looked like he was actually holding on to the pole. Masa tu bila air dah surut dan aku tengok si Awan dalam keadaan camtu, sumpah aku rasa cam nak hug dia kuat2. Cute gile nak mampos. Tapi apo dayo, tangan akak xsampai uolss..

Skang ni, aku tengah berjimat cermat yang amat dengan gajiku yang ciput ittew supaya aku dapat belanjakan semua pada Awan Guling. Who would've thought that Adi would even think about spending all of her money on cars rather than on clothings and books.. Tapi demi Awan, aku sanggup!

Kakak sayang kamu Awan.. (matilah jatuh chenta ngn kereta!!)

Monday, March 9, 2009

Kekacauan jiwaku


It's been a while since I write anything. I've been busy lately. Aku rasa aku xdelah banyak benda nak kena buat tapi rasanya macam sgt2 busy. Aku pun xtau apa yang aku sibukkan sgt. Tapi aku memang sibuk lah sekarang nih..

Aku dah keje sebenarnya. It's only been a month but it felt like forever. I don't wanna talk much about my work. At least not now.

Anyway, life aku skg nih rasanya sama je cam sebelum ni, cam time2 study dulu. Aku still kena bangun pagi, buat keje sampai malam. Kadang2 kena stay up, kena kejar datelines (dan langgar datelines jugak hehe..). But I guess yang membezakan hidup aku skang ngan dulu hanya satu - I'm not having fun anymore. Not even with myself.

Aku ni pulak bukannya the type of person yang pandai nak cover2 isi hati. Ok, maybe I can act and pretend a bit, but then it will show eventually. Skang ni ngan kepala yang berserabut, I tend to become very moody, my habit changed and I don't feel like myself anymore most of the time.

I do realise though that I have responsibilities and have to think about other things and people as well, so I have to keep myself together and pretend as much as I can. So kenalah sengih sana, sengih sini, gelak sana, gelak sini.. I did have fun and enjoyed myself a bit sometimes, but a big part of me rasa cam nak meletop. I sooooo hate having to do this, to pretend like this. Sumpah exhausting!! x(

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