"They say that the suffering you endure when you are younger is a way for you to pay your dues early and make room for better things in the future. Keep at it until you are calloused and bruised. Although you may be hurt and bleeding now, a better day will come. Hard work will never betray you."
Kang Gary of Leessang, Dec 2011

Friday, March 3, 2017

Masalah

Being a female, yang kena hadap masalah hormon tiap2 bulan ni, if you asked me benda yang paling membencikan about it is masalah mengantuk.

I mean, kalau mood swing tu you can just ignore people. Or stay away from everyone. Or lepas je lah emosi tak tentu arah tu. Kalau the cramps pulak you can take medicine to help. 

Tapi kalau the sleepiness tu, memang tak boleh buat apa dah. Tengah berjalan pun boleh rasa nak tertidur. Tengah mengadap boss bebel2 pasal kerja aku ni sikit lagi nak terlelap dah. 

Paling teruk waktu driving. I was aware that I am sleepy pastu buat macam2 to stay awake tapi still mengantuk macam gila rasa nak turun kereta pastu langgar diri sendiri.

So the only cure is to sleep.

Tapi sekarang is tengah waktu bekerja, and its only 8:30am. And I have a meeting at 9.

God help me *sigh*

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Sampah

I tried to write few times actually since last year.
Tapi semua sangkut dalam draft; either tak siap or aku ended up rasa tak perlu publish.
Tu yang tiba-tiba muncul satu entry last year tu.
Tu pun sejenis sampah.
Ni pun ala2 sejenis sampah jugak haha.
Bongok -..-


Friday, August 26, 2016

Assalamualaikum

Amboi, dah setahun lebih tak blogging. Banyak setting entry yang aku dah tak ingat ni. Nak tengok drafts pun aku dah lupa macam mana haha.

I'm thinking of blogging actively again. Walaupun banyak blogger ternama pun dah start persoalkan masih relavent ke blogging ni? Still ada orang baca ke? tapi semua tu tak penting untuk aku. Lagipun selama ni pun memang takde orang beria baca blog aku pun. Yang penting aku ada tempat nak meluahkan perasaan dan meroyan. Haha. Bertabah lah, hidup seorang singular yang hopeless memang macam ni. Nak cakap dengan kucing-kucing pun dorang malas dah nak layan nampaknya. Siap buat muka. Biadap betul. So marilah bercakap sorang-sorang kat sini.

I'm still going through so much in life. Ingatkan dah pertengahan 30an ni dah mula tenang sikit la hidup, tapi hampeh. Sama je kelam kabut macam zaman jahiliyah dulu-dulu. Cuma kurang lah huru hara. And for that, I am greatly thankful.

Okay sambung nanti bila-bila rajin. Bye.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Selamat pagi dunia

Aku tengah sangat penat dan mengantuk but somehow my system refuses to shut down to rest. That's how this entry came about. Hehe. 

Dah setengah tahun tak publish entry hoii. I still read blog orang lain macam biasa, tapi tak tergerak nak menulis kat blog sendiri. Padahal selalu ada je benda terlintas kat kepala yang I would like to write about in this blog. Tapi nama pun terlintas maka the thought tu sekadar melintas lalu berlalu pergi. Haha.

Anyway next week is my 33rd birthday. Terasa jugak la ala-ala dah tua kadang-kadang. Kadang-kadang je lah hehe. Helpless betul masih tak sedar diri tua -__-"

I can tell that my body is going through changes. Paling obvious ialah kulit muka. Berjerawat macam hapa tah, kecik besar semua ada sekali dengan pakej open pores melampau. Dah setahun kot jerawat kaw-kaw continuously macam ni. It was never like this. 

Haritu tak sengaja termengadu pasal kulit muka aku ni kat doktor, sebab dia sound aku dok garu jerawat kat dahi haha. He said that most likely it is because of my age, umur meningkat maka badan pun akan melalui certain changes maka hormon pun kadang-kadang bercelaru. Yes it is always the hormone with us ladies. Hergh. 

Anyway I'm really not bothered by it, cuma rasa semak je lah muka ni banyak bumps pastu sakit hati kalau gatal susah nak garu sebab sakit kot kalau tergaru jerawat. 

Somehow I have such positive mind set yang this will all go away in no time. Maybe sebab selama ni muka aku memang akan macam tu; berjerawat dengan meriahnya pastu tiba-tiba satu hari tu semua jerawat termasuk parut miraculously disappear macam takde apa jadi.
Walaupun kali ni jerawat lebih extreme dah dah berlarutan setahun, tapi aku tetap confident dengan diri sendiri. Tak risau nak cari solution pun. 

Tak taulah ini nak dianggap sebagai bagus ke bangang sebenarnya huhu ^__^"

Monday, December 29, 2014

Last one.

Since I don't have much to do at work today (sebab hujan dan juga malas), I spent the entire morning reading my whole 2014's posts.
Wow, sungguh depressing entry-entry ku untuk tahun ini rupanya haha.

Tapi memang agak depressing lah tahun ni.
Imagine you have to work with someone who doesn't have any idea that you are working independently, that your position is not under any specific person (except for the pay master), that you are to work with everyone, not for anyone. 

Actually I think he does understand my position but he choose to ignore it sebab he is a plain egoist kepala besar perasan bagus with a temper of a 2 year old yang rasa only he alone can get this site moving and nobody is above him except for the paymaster. Or anyone that can give him money and kiss his ass for that matter. 


Honestly, my 2014 in general takdelah teruk sangat. It was not that good tapi tak lah teruk. Cuma I guess I am seriously affected by my work. To be honest aku adalah stress menghampiri tahap menyampah dengan team aku sekarang. Sebab aku tak boleh nak buat kerja aku properly. Dahla kena mengadap manusia psycho tu kat site hari-hari. 

Kalau ikut hati memang dah lama nak berhenti, but I don't have the privilege, given my current condition. So bertabah je lah sepanjang tahun ni. Nasib baik project ni setahun je, kalau tak memang depresi melampau lah aku sekarang. Ni pun dah ala-ala depress ni, asyik ponteng and tak semangat nak pergi kerja langsung. And it makes me super exhausted and sick (literally) fighting with myself.


Sekianlah luahan perasaan ala merempan kali terakhir untuk tahun ini. 

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